Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
