I hate your face
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
