You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
