So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize