dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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