please come you make the beer taste better
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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