5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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