So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
