i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
