He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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