if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
