New low: just hacked my moms facebook
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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