Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
