I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
