If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
