Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize