Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
