He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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