Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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