Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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