Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Randomize