They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
