lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize