She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
she told me i tasted like america
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
