Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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