drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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