The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
