This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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