no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
