I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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