Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
