Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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