Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
