My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
