i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
