He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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