I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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