last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
