I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
