Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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