well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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