i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
