Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
