Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just pee around me
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
