My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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