I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
