I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
