I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize