Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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