I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
