did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize