My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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