i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
