It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
