omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
