That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
