I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
