TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
ttyl tear gas
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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